I can’t express how abandoned I have felt during my journey through alcohol addiction. I hear of new Christians who have had miraculous interventions and were delivered instantly from their vices. I on the other hand, a lifelong Christian, seem to have just been abandoned down in the pit and have had to use my own strength and resources to claw my way out. I spent so many mornings on my face on the floor crying out for help and deliverance. At the height of my addiction, I was spending hours with God praying, worshiping and reading the word. And yet no deliverance. Then one morning, I picked myself up off the floor, wiped my tears and accepted that Jesus wasn’t coming to rescue me. When I think of that Footprint’s poem, where the guy had struggles and it seemed he was walking alone and then God says, ‘that’s when I carried you’, I just want to call bullshit. No bud, you were walking alone. You had to live out whatever shitty situation happened, and you had to learn to keep walking. What I’ve concluded is that the rescue isn’t coming because it already came. God sent his son who paid the price for my sin and opened up every possibility for us to live an abundant life. He even gave us a book full of wisdom and guidance. Enter free will. Then we make choices that turn us from that abundant life and there are natural consequences that come along with that. That’s where I’m at. Paying the consequences. They’re real, they’re tough and I’m full of regret. For my birthday this year, I heard the words, “Year of victory”. So, I believe he hasn’t left, he’s still cheering me on, he still loves me, but I've got to walk this out on my own, do the hard work on my own and hopefully get back to abundant life. I tell people now, keep praying, but don't wait for rescue 'cause he's not coming, at least not in the way you think. He's no theologian, but I believe Benjamin Franklin when he said, "God helps those who help themselves". Pick yourself up, get the help you need and get ready to do the work.
