Sunday, June 13, 2010

10th Anniversary Thoughts

This week we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.
We had a great disagreement on the way to the restaurant we were going to . It was a much needed discussion. We talked, we yelled, I cried, we were silent and then we started again. Nobody won and no resolution was made, except a resolve to love. There's that peace and security in knowing we'll be together always; in sickness, in health, for rich, for poorer, forsaking all others until death. We sat in silence for a good twenty minutes (the cool down), each content that we had been heard, truly heard, by the other. When we got to the restaurant I sent him a text under the table. It said, "You're hot!!!" and that broke the ice and sealed the argument. He knew that was code for , "I forgive you. You forgive me. Let's make love tonight".
I'm sure that not everyone gets here within the same timeframe or in the same way, but I feel like we've come through the most selfish years and settled in for the long haul. The first couple years are spent in shock. The dating blinders come off, everyone eases out of their best behaviour and plays out every fear they developed watching their parents marriage. It's a time for establishing boundaries. It is truly hard work! and not all couples make it through. If you can make it through the spring to the summer of unconditional love it is well worth it. We still have plenty of crap to work through, but here is where we are safe to do so.
I am so blessed to have Dwayne's love and I look forward to the long journey ahead!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Women are Like Flowers

Women are like flowers waiting to bloom.
Contrary to popular belief we don't want to be lied to either. When a woman asks you if she "looks fat in this", "is my makeup alright", "did you enjoy dinner"; she already knows every single flaw and she's waiting for you to confirm her worst fears, at the same time hoping against hope that you see something she can't. Fundamentally we know what we are supposed to be. Woman are the fairer sex, the domestic goddess, we bring forth new life, we are our husband's greatest help.
You would do well to study the woman in your life. Do you know how glorious a flower in bloom is? The beauty, the fragrance, the pleasure, a work of art.
Art has always been subjective. One may see something magnificent while another may view the same piece and not see anything of value. At a first glance maybe. But when we begin to study it's creator, his point of view, his purpose; we develop a new appreciation.
I get it, "do I look fat in this" becomes a terribly loaded question and it's up to you to know the answer. It's a sort of ultimatum saying, "I will become everything you need if you can tell me what God saw when he made me the way I am." May I suggest that if she was already blooming she wouldn't have to ask.
"You're just too complicated" answers another question, "Am I worth fighting for?" You could do it because it's right and you could do it for yourself. A woman in bloom is worth fighting for, I guarantee it.
Am I lovely?
Am I worth fighting for?
Do you see me?
Father's of daughters have the same responsibility to help their daughter's bloom. If you do not answer these questions for them, they will search for someone to answer the questions. And by search I mean, they will give almost anything.
If you know the creator you will see the masterpiece. It's not as complicated as you think. He will show you everything you need to see.