I’m a planner, a big dreamer, man I’ve got visions!! But that’s really all I’ve got. I’m thrilled by the planning, mapping, scheduling, but the follow through is where it ends. I rarely ever follow through with anything. Cleaning plans for my house, school plans for my future, business plans, hobbies, household budgets, plans for daily prayer and devotions, fasting, exercise...I’ve never followed through on any of those things. I’ve come to realize that I love the high of planning and the low of failure. When I have succeeded in accomplishing anything I either never meet my expectations or someone is still disappointed with me. If I can’t succeed then I may as well fail, because success takes work and no one wants to invest only to be disappointed. I’m sure you can see that my thinking is askew and like the faithful Daddy he is, God wasn’t going to leave me this way forever.
I’ve prayed about my lack of desire to clean my house and etc.. desperately, I thought! But it came down to timing for one, and a real honest look at myself and my motives. Then confessing them, and repenting for them. That opened the door for truth and revelation.
God said, “Don’t make a list, don’t make a plan. Everyday choose to do what’s right. AND not for the praise of anyone, do it for Jesus alone!”
This timely revelation came two nights before I was going to attempt a Daniel fast. (By talking about it I hope this doesn’t break the rules for fasting. I just think it’s applicable to this topic.) Normally it’s scary for me to attempt any sort of committed discipline. Yes, I have to have “21 days” in mind, but God is teaching my big dreamer, plan down to the last detail brain, to take things one choice at a time. Each choice has a right or wrong, and right in the moment I choose. If I was thinking about a fast before, I would’ve taken every detail to the extreme, I would’ve overwhelmed myself and quit before I started or failed on the first day and been miserable with guilt an failure.
Usually when I wake up in the morning my first thought is of coffee. The first morning of my fast, my first thought was a line from a song, “God I look to you. I won’t be overwhelmed. Give me vision to see things like you do”. God is gracious! He knows how addicted to coffee I am and how intimidating it is for me to commit a length of time to not drinking it. Every time I walk by the Keurig I choose, “no”. Every overwhelming craving, I choose, “no”, every Tim Horton’s drive thru I choose, “no”. One right choice at a time. I won’t be overwhelmed!
If you’ve been struggling to give something up or to begin something. Start by examining your motives, confess and repent and begin by making one right choice at a time. If you fail you’ve only failed at one choice, when the next choice comes choose again.
I just felt the need to TESTIFY!
